Really?

Being on the main drag, we meet some "unique" individuals and get quite a few "unusual" requests from customers, but today was a first for me. A white truck pulled up right out front and parked in the 24 minute zone. This is par for the course as there's a vacuum shop right next door and people are constantly pulling in to pick up or drop off their vacuums for repair. Two men got out of the truck and one of them went into the vacuum shop. The other man, dressed very "Ventura" in acid washed jeans and a random t-shirt and the omnipresent FANNY PACK, stood right outside our shop door and lit up a lil' cigarette to pass the time. Then he began the creepy ritual of cupping his hands up to the glass and staring in at me. Obviously people are looking at our shop whenever they do this, but it always freaks me out because it seems like they're either casing the joint or staring directly at me.

Usually when someone seems weird to me, I do this little silent prayer where I wish for them to keep walking or get back into their car or whatever. "No no no no no no no keeeep walkin' dude, keep walkin'", I think to myself, but it almost NEVER works. So of course he came in. Right away he began looking at a Batman PEZ dispenser on the shelf near the front door. He turned to me and said, "The question is...will my Vicodin fit in here?". I almost burst out laughing but kept it in check so I wouldn't be murdered on the spot. "Uhhhh, I don't think so.", I replied. "The pills would have to have square edges in order to stack like the PEZ candy." "You don't think so, huh?", he asked. "I'm gonna go get my pills and see!"

Against my protestations, he went out and retrieved his pills, and sure enough, no dice. "Aww I woulda bought this thing.", he informed me. All I could think was, yeah I BET you would have...how frickin' amazing would it be all poppin' your narcotics at The Star Lounge with a Batman PEZ? "Love on the rocks, ain't no big surprise...pop me a Vicodin outta your PEZ dispenser and I'll tell ya some lies..." Holy prescription pill junkies, Batman!

Exactly how many Vicodins does one need to carry on their person while bopping around town, ridin' shotgun and dropping off the vacuum? Apparently for this particular gentleman, I'm guessing about 15 or 20. Why the hell can't the fanny pack be enough for him? I suppose for now it will just have to do. Anyway, it was hilarious and I just wish someone other than Caesar had been here with me to witness the exchange.